I was injured at 12 years old, leaving me paralyzed (T10). Obviously, the accident was tragic and terrifying to go through for both myself and my family. During rehabilitation I was constantly told how I was an inspiration and how my story gave others strength. While this seems harmless and even kind, I have grown to resent it.

As I have aged in life, as well as in my disability (8 years), I have found myself becoming more frequently agitated when I am called an inspiration or a hero. Tragedy sucks and it’s not fair, but it happens. One thing that I’m sure we’ve all recognized is that spinal cord injuries/disorders do not discriminate. While some people experience hardships and loss in other ways, we experienced it with our own bodies. No one asks for a disability, no one asks to lose a family member or a friend, no one asks to lose a job… life just happens. This is not to say that all of these things don’t require grieving, they do, and every individual handles grief differently, but the one thing about grief is that there has to be a stage where you move forward.

My issue with being coined as an inspiration started when I heard phrases like, “How did you keep going?” and “Wow, I can’t believe you’re right back to your old life.” When my injury was still new these statements made me feel strong and resilient, but then I became frustrated. Why does simply living make us an inspiration? Are we supposed to lie in bed, kept in our homes for the rest of our lives? When I hear these terms now I feel the opposite of strong and resilient, I feel as though I want to crawl into my own skin and hide. Do people really think or expect someone with a disability to give up and act like life can’t exist? I use a wheelchair, does that mean I have to do absolutely nothing for the rest of my life? I am disheartened when I hear these phrases because it reminds me that because of our disability society expects us to be less than able-bodies.

I first heard of the term inspiration porn about a year ago, and ever since I cannot stop seeing it… everywhere. You’re scrolling on Facebook and you see a heartfelt story of someone taking a girl with Down Syndrome to prom, there’s a video of someone with an SCI being lifted up by friends and family so they can have a first dance at their wedding “normally.” These stories get thousands of likes and shares, but why? Why is it that these completely normal things are looked at as a “reminder society isn’t all bad?”

And this is my issue with inspiration porn. Social media fuels it and allows it to become normalized, so now when anyone with a disability does anything, we are praised and told how we are inspiring others. Most days I don’t want to get up to my alarm in the morning, I absolutely hate grocery shopping, I work to pay bills and rent, and relationships are a healthy part of life, but I have personally been told I was “inspiring” for doing all of these.

This type of thinking fuels ableism. Why is simply living an inspiration? I understand the intentions are genuine, it’s hard to imagine that calling someone an inspiration could be offensive, but the reasons behind it are. When the common mentality is “expect less from those with disabilities, but when they do something, praise them,” there is a feeding ground for lowered self-esteem and frustration from the disabled community.

I’m not sure if others feel the same way I do, maybe I have just become cynical and hypersensitive as I have lived with SCI for 8 years. But I do know that no one with SCI/D wants to feel any more different than we already do. Some people truly are inspirations, some people with SCI/D are truly inspirations – being coined an inspiration should be about the character and actions of a person that gives them that title, not simply living.

My name is Madisyn Hess and I am 20 years old. I am currently a junior at Christopher Newport University. I am completing my undergraduate degree in Psychology and I hope to pursue a Master’s degree in Occupational Therapy. I am a T-10 paraplegic, and I have an adorable service dog named Oxford. In my limited free time, I love to watch movies or TV shows, occasionally “bingeing” them (whoops), and I enjoy trying new restaurants as well as new types of food.  You can find me dancing, singing, or trying any adaptive sport I can!